Wednesday in Las Vegas: Being Online – It Shouldn’t Have To Hurt

I put together some thoughts for the informal session I’ll be holding at SAP’s technology conference, SAP TechEd, in Las Vegas next week.

These are (necessarily?) unfinished thoughts, mostly because no matter how many stories I hear (and this year with the release of It Gets Better: SAP Employees I’ve been privileged to far more than I could ever have imagined) I still don’t have an answer.  But as technologists, especially at a company that purports to help “make the world run better,” we all must be part of the mandate to find a solution.

Originally I titled this session “Being Online (as a minority)…” – but then came Marilyn Pratt’s excellent blog about the concept of bullying in our own backyards, in a business context.  Let me be clear I don’t think any of us are immune to the pain of the public flaunting of whatever are our soft spots.  Yet these spots are exactly our most precious, and our futures, collectively, are lost without them. In this sense, we are all minorities — online or off.  Our differences are what matter — I believe — for the future of the globe.

If you are in Las Vegas next week I’d love it if you could join me.  If not, I’d love to hear from you here or in person.  Also, continued thanks to @karoli, @godisdead, and many others for actively engaging with me on Twitter and beyond in these topics.  Thank you.

Advertisements

“It Gets Better” in Thirteen Languages — When Words (And Music) Matter

Where I work, at SAP, I’m proud to announce that we just released a multilingual version of our film It Gets Better: SAP Employees:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=hi&v=Zbh4YNwmfJM

From my post on the SAP Community Network:

Together with the German subtitles we already had in place when we launched the film, that makes *13* languages in which SAP now says It Gets Better worldwide. Please watch and share with colleagues and friends in locations where these languages are spoken – especially where there are people who may be in crisis and need a supportive message.
Here are the nine originally released languages:
  • Chinese
  • English (closed-captioning for the hearing impaired)
  • French
  • German
  • Hindi
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Russian
  • Spanish

Here are the four additional languages added by passionate community effort:

  • Bulgarian
  • Croatian
  • Serbian
  • Slovenian

Now that these translations are available, the full transcripts of the film are searchable in nine languages on YouTube.  Why is this a big deal?

As you may be aware, the realities around the world of what it means to be LGBT vary widely. In many places in the world it’s illegal to be gay and the penalties can be harsh. Assuming you’re in a location where you can access YouTube, if you’re a lonely teen wondering where to turn, you have one more place to find help.

For example, check out the results of a search query like this:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=highschool+bullying+
miserable+throwing+eggs+gay&oq=highschool+bullying+miserable+
throwing+eggs+gay

Today, the It Gets Better: SAP Employees video shows up top-of-the-list. When you’re alone and feeling different online, words can hurt.  You can also use words to help.  So reach out if you need help – even if you have to reach around the world to do so.

PS: In honor of the multilingual release of the film, we’ve also made one more language available: Music. The artists who created the song to the film have made it available for free download online. We only ask that you share the message with those who may need help.  We are indebted to all who help spread the message that It Gets Better. Thank you.

Cyberbullying: When social media hurts. Making it help.

Inside my workplace at SAP, we’ve got a vibrant intranet.  I was asked recently to contribute a story to a “Social Media Experiences” collection, and below is what I wrote today, which I also wanted to share on the extranet.

I also want to hat-tip @Karoli, with whom I’ve been having a vibrant conversation on Twitter about what we could do to help prevent online bullying among other things.  She’s got smart ideas around identity and authenticity online.  Being anonymous online can be incredibly liberating, but it also makes it easy to say incredibly mean things to people that you would not otherwise have said to their faces. We must work to prevent yet more cyberbullying that leads to suicide — and owning what we do and say would help.  As Karoli said: “It all goes to having some kind of reliable identity system. Not necessarily a real name, but a verified identity.”

Please let me know if you know of people working in this area.  I’d love to collaborate.

About Me: Being Out at Home and Work

I married my wife Leanne legally in 2008 in California. Shortly thereafter, California banned same-sex marriages.  We’re in a legal netherworld and are federal strangers, as long as the Defense of Marriage Act exists. I’ve been working at SAP for over 10 years, but only within the last couple of years have I been actively involved in our local LGBT community. One of our most recent and successful initiatives – and nothing short of a career highlight for me – has been to release the It Gets Better: SAP Employees film to great support and success.

Social Media Usage Scenario: It Gets Better

There are many ways LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) people are helped by being able to be themselves and connect online on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, formspring, blogging, and beyond.  There are also many ways it hurts – often tragically.  According to this recent infographic from The Advocate:

  • 7.5 million Facebook users are under the age of 13 (despite the minimum age requirement being 13)
  • 800,000 kids report being bullied on Facebook
  • Bullied kids are twice as likely to commit suicide as non-bullied kids
  • 1 in 5 cyberbullied teens think about suicide
  • 1 in 10 attempt it
  • 4,500 teens succeed in killing themselves every year

The It Gets Better Project, founded in September 2010, is a collection of over 50,000 videos submitted by individuals, celebrities, employees, and organizations in response to an increase in suicides of LGBT teens or those perceived to be gay or different. The goal of the videos is to counter bullying influences by telling personal stories about how life gets better – to offer hope by speaking directly to people at-risk of suicide.

I managed the making of SAP’s It Gets Better film, which we released on June 7. During this process, we discovered that SAP colleague Steve Fehr had recently lost his own son Jeffrey to suicide after years of anti-gay bullying.  Jeff was 18 years old.

Making the film was a profoundly transformative process for all of us.  Please watch and share here:

The effort involved in making this film was huge – over 100 people from around the company came together to create and support the release of this film, many being interviewed and sharing highly personal stories in service of making it better.

The Impact: Preventing Further Tragedies

As Steve Fehr said shortly after I met him: “I will do anything I can to prevent just one person from suffering what Jeff suffered and one family feeling the agony that we feel.” At the end of It Gets Better films, there is a phone number for The Trevor Project you can call if you are in trouble and need help.  Had Jeff known about The Trevor Project, Steve asks himself, would he still be here?  Steve and his family are not prepared to stop asking that question until they’ve done everything they can to spread the word that help is out there.

SAP’s It Gets Better film has been seen as of this writing nearly 23,000 times, making it the second-most viewed video on SAP’s YouTube channel in just over one month.  Publishing this film, and achieving the reach we have, would not have been possible without social media and all of us eager colleagues and supportive friends who helped spread the message (Cathy Brooks’ Huffington Post piece currently accounts for the highest percentage of referrals to YouTube).  The challenge is to take some of the very same channels and environments responsible for some of the staggering statistics above and turn the tables.

The It Gets Better Project shows how hard work every day in social media channels themselves can bring balance to the cyberbulling.  And the films can come from individuals as well as organizations.  This comes from all of us, and comes down to all of us, to make a difference every day and speak up where we see bullying happen, online or off.  As individuals.

 

PS: The night we released the film at SAP, we had a great panel of anti-bullying experts present.  Watch highlights from the post-event interview reel here:  http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-810994

Be the one that helps: SAP Employees Release “It Gets Better” Film

From the SAP Community Network today:

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
-George Eliot

SAP employees release our It Gets Better film today in support of LGBT youth in crisis. As we do, we reflect on what makes a community, who belongs to it, and how communities can hurt – and how communities can help.

I am proud to be an SAP employee today as we release our own It Gets Better film. I’m also humbled, regretful that we didn’t make this by December 31, 2011, and vulnerable. I will explain.

The It Gets Better Project, founded in September 2010, is a collection of over 50,000 videos submitted by individuals, celebrities, employees, and organizations in response to a number of suicides of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) teens or those perceived to be gay or different. The goal of the videos is to counter bullying influences by telling personal stories about how life gets better – to offer hope by speaking directly to people at-risk of suicide. In the video, I join my incredible colleagues with my heart on my sleeve. But I was absolutely compelled to help fellow colleagues make this happen, even more so after I learned about Jeffrey Fehr.

On January 1, 2012, 18-year-old Jeffrey Fehr of Granite Bay near Sacramento made the devastating decision that he could no longer go on living and took his own life. He had recently graduated from Granite Bay High School where he was a pioneer as the first male cheerleader. He was well loved by his friends and his family, and was a bright light and inspiration for countless peers. He was also an out gay youth who had endured years of teasing and bullying.

In the words of his father, SAP employee Steve Fehr:

Jeff chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem not realizing the pain, heartache and agony he was leaving behind. Please do not do that to the ones who love you the most. Please reach out for help now to the many resources available.

On January 2, Graph Desino, schoolmate of Jeff’s at Granite Bay High School, posted on the blog Graph’s Crap:

When I was a freshman, I wrote a Gazette article about Formspring and its uses/abuses. It was pretty dull stuff, truth be told. But somehow, while I was fiddling with my own Formspring account, I stumbled upon Jeff’s. … I don’t remember any specifics, but the hate and anger thrown at this kid, holy shit.
[Jeff’s] Formspring archive remains etched in my mind for a reason. I’d always felt very uncomfortable here, with my bisexuality, and all those knowing glances, but I thank God I never had to deal with what he did. It was unrelenting. Often obscene. Always anonymous.

But he replied to them without animosity. That was the really incredible part.

We can’t see Jeff’s Formspring account anymore but we can imagine what sort of stuff that was that he had to deal with. In a Granite Bay Gazette article from November 2010, shortly after the It Gets Better project’s inception. Schoolmate jcologna writes stories from close to home about how gay students are impacted by bullying. Teacher Katrina Wachs says in the article:

“Since I came to this school I have been shocked by how many times a day I hear ‘that’s gay,’ ‘fag’ and a myriad of other slogans and verbal slurs,” GBHS teacher Katrina Wachs said. “I think it’s a real human rights issue.”

The author goes on to talk about others struggling with bullying:

“It’s gotten pretty overboard, I got hit in the face last year,” the anonymous junior girl said. “I have had people go on Myspace and post ‘yes on prop 8’ on all of my pictures and I have gotten texts like ‘oh you’re a stupid lesbian you probably have aids’ and just stuff like that.”

Jeff Fehr himself is quoted in the article. And the junior girl who is bullied remains nameless, but we know there have been other teen suicides. She concludes: “I feel like maybe if it was talked about more in class then maybe it would be less of a problem.”

So we’re talking about it.

In making and releasing this film I had countless conversations with SAP colleagues and beyond that I shall never forget. Many of these conversations necessarily, given the track record of sustained bullying and cyberbullying as we’ve sadly grown to see above, revolved around how to react if people are going to say bad things. Many of the conversations however have been nothing short of inspirational, and these sustain me.

Recently I was asked something by one of our beloved community advocates right here on the SCN that I shall also never forget. The project resonated with her and she wondered whether, if she wrote about it, it would be inappropriate to talk about suicide and bullying in general and not specifically LGBT suicide and bullying.

And I answered about how she should absolutely do so — that she should apply the message in whatever direction speaks her truth.

Because what is a community? The LGBT community may all-too-accurately point out that suicides within our community are markedly particular — the fact is, in U.S. surveys, lesbian, gay, and bisexual adolescents and adults have two to six times higher rates of reported suicide attempts compared to comparable straight people. Among transgender people the rates of suicide attempts are markedly high but not well measured.

And yet LGBT people are our communities; and our communities at SAP and on the SCN represent diversity at its finest — we represent.

Communities are the sum of their people. And companies are the sum of their employees. And SAP helps companies run better. This film is about being better to each other, valuing differences – being the best people we can be.

Communities can hurt – and communities can help. Watch, share, talk, and help us be the kind that helps.

Tonight in Palo Alto we premiere the It Gets Better: SAP Employees film to a live audience in Cafe 1 at 5:30pm, where we welcome Granite Bay High School teacher Katrina Wachs to participate on a panel to talk about what is going on here. We also welcome local Gunn High School teacher Daisy Renazco and prominent LGBT suicide prevention organization Trevor Project CEO Abbe Land, as well as Seth Levy from the It Gets Better project.

If you are in town, please join us at 5:30 tonight. If you are not, please watch the film and share widely. Help us help even one person realize that they are not alone. My deep thanks.

Media Share in the Social Intranet

Ich bin veröffentlicht (albeit in a small way!). Below you can read pages 274 and 275 of a book called Social Intranet: – Kommunikation fördern – Wissen teilen – Effizient zusammenarbeiten. (Cited by permission from Dirk Dobiey, one of the book’s chief authors.)

Social Intranet talks about the many aspects of SAP’s successful internal communications platform — our “social intranet” — which is managed by the organization called Knowledge Management Competency Center.

This chapter talks about Media Share, the project I am pleased to have shepherded into existence at SAP. In this project, we identified the need — and then set out to fulfill it — to help people easily share videos inside the company. While it’s easy to share media externally on countless social internet channels, internal sharing comes with its own challenges, which are both technological and business-related. We ended being part of a vibrant communications platform backed by an avid community and a company that demands new ways to be open and transparent internally. It has been a real privilege to be involved with this project.

Video sharing with Media Share is only one piece of the social intranet pie at SAP. Check out the whole book for more details on the vibrant platform inside SAP (if you read German since it’s only in German at this point).

Key excerpt auf English:
“Critical to our growth was listening to our community of users, seeing how they were using Media Share, and responding, as well as learning of the many bright ideas out there on valuable ways to use a video sharing platform,” Moya notes.

Oh give me a home where the bioswale roams …

On Wednesday last week, I joined the Sustainability Walking Tour led by Larry Morgan at SAP Labs Palo Alto.  Larry toured us through a couple of the buildings on campus, pointing out special sustainable features inside and out.

SAP Labs in Palo Alto is located on land shared by Stanford, and SAP worked closely with Stanford in addition to other prominent local giants in the thought- and technology-leadership space to rig up some super cool sustainability features in our buildings.

Sustainability is a topic close to our hearts, ever more so since we’ve created a family upon this earth. Check out the below for a look at how corporations can — and should — lead the charge in pioneering sustainable technologies, and give us a few cool new vocabulary words while they’re at it:

Weeding for Corporate Social Responsibility

You could say my SAP Month of Service began last week, on Michael’s birthday — but I’ll have to hold this story for a little longer. It’s still unraveling.

Today I was lucky to participate in my first official SAP Month of Service volunteer activity at Coit Tower. It was one of those rare gorgeous warm days in San Francisco — with not a cloud or threat of fog in the sky. Organized by HandsOn Bay Area, we met the sole gardener in charge of the gardens of Telegraph Hill. In his job, Milo continually battles against non-native invasive vegetation. Today we got to help play a tiny role in this fight. We got to revel in the soil of San Francisco; we weeded invasive grasses; we replaced our divets with native grasses.

Below is my silly short compilation video of the day — the long version is 12 minutes and also seems ridiculously long — but what a beautiful day it was. How lucky we are to be able to serve our community in this way; how fortunate that I work for a good community citizen. Thanks SAP; thanks HandsOn Bay Area; thank you Milo!