nooka made a sweet sunset for us this evening.

on her way to her appointment, she vomited in the backseat of my car, as if to say just how sick she’d become and just that it was the right decision. but still it feels so bad to be part of laying her on her side, inserting the needle, holding her paw till the doctor said ‘that’s it.’ she didn’t look any different at all. her eyes were open, and she lay there quietly, as sweetly as she had been doing all the time she was sick.

i feel i’ve been a part of something bad. but nooka would have sweetly told us it was the right thing to do.

the moon is far across the sky now.  we lay in bed in the otivo conference room. she was purring softly and quietly on my lap. leanne had switched off the movie, leaned her ear down to nooka’s chest, stroked her, then turned away from us.

tears rolled for the first time down my face and into my hair as nooka’s paw held my finger. i arranged her in the blankets and bent down to say i wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet. she’s talking about giving it up with nooka, letting her go to rest.