the peak of summer

the peak of summer

judging by the deep grey color and smooth texture of the fog cover outside my window, and by the fact that it was at least twenty degrees warmer before i started home tonight, i’d say it’s the peak of summer. the perseids are on their way back, and apparently mars is approaching as close to the earth as it ever has been in recorded history!

all of this rivals the excitement of getting to see dr grissom again tomorrow morning. i was due there last week, but her office called to reschedule, and did not confirm today, so it’s possible i will have slipped through the cracks. if not, i should get a better read on what’s to do with my medial scar. i took some new pictures of it yesterday, and perhaps i will be in the mood to post them and compare with those i stopped posting – oh – may or so? it looks like two hard red knots on either side of the incision – basically, where the knots of the sutures themselves were. it’s really quite odd — because before i started all this breast mammography and biopsy business, i never had lumps like this. and now i have definite lumps – something that should strike fear in any woman, even if just from a scar.

best wishes go out to elaine, blake’s mom, who began aggressive chemotherapy today in albuquerque. she visited san francisco last week, giving us the opportunity also to see the lovely whirlwind that is blake, to get a second opinion from the folks at california pacific medical center. she’s apparently got a really very serious, nasty inflammatory cancer. blake has gone out to join her (having successfully procured new car keys after slipping her old ones down the elevator shaft). we are thinking of them both and hoping for the best things… the best in western and holistic medical attention, the best friends and support systems, a little oasis here and there, the assistance of a bright visiting planet, a little magic, some refreshing coolness now and then, like yesterday’s creamy coconut sorbet from mitchell’s, a blanket of fog under the summer heat.

“hey, nice pelvis!”

“hey, nice pelvis!”

it’s time to bring some female reproductive parts back into this weblog, since that’s what’s advertised. i hope searchers don’t arrive disappointed and mumbling about ‘truth in advertising’, and that the links on the right do prove useful to people searching for info about calcifications, mammograms, and breast surgery (which site stats show people arrive so doing). hopefully, the search engine helps a bit too.

currently, i’m beaming about my pelvis. my pelvis feels strong and complimented. i got to see the lovely dr madelyn kahn for my annual scrape today, and though my breast may not be healing as nicely as hoped, my pelvis, said she while palpitating, is in fine shape! she told me i should pass it down.

on the other hand, she was able to verify that my medial breast incision had, in fact, keloided — hmm, is that the proper tense? i suppose there is no verb form, but the idea should come across. to those regular visitors who search for weekly breast updates who have been disappointed since the promising start: that’s pretty much why. it doesn’t really look any different from the last picture i posted months ago. i gather that is because it is ‘a keloid’, and that i now know that i have ‘a tendency to keloid’. i’m not sure what, if anything, it has to do with the irritation caused by my internal sutures, but she said dr grissom would be able to fix it. that’s the next in my spate of maintenance visits: dr grissom, july 15. summer of doctorly-love.

rock star, with knives

rock star, with knives

i went to see nima grissom about my little knot today; “you couldn’t stay away, could you?” she taunted me as she walked into the office. my secret’s out — it’s true. i feel like a bit of a rock star when i get to see dr grissom. or i feel like she’s a bit of a rock star. perhaps it’s all those breasts she handles. or her skillful hands. or because she’s the one holding the knife… or something.

sure enough, just as she had advised in her postoperative instructions, it only took a couple of minutes to deal with the incision. she got out some kind of tweezers and fished out what looked like the knotted end of a fishing wire, the kind my brother used to tie flies with. she said it seems like i’m the type that just gets irritated by and tends to reject internal suturing, and that for future operations, i should probably get a different kind of suture. funny that it was just one side of one of the incisions that kicked up such a fuss. i asked her if this meant it wouldn’t heal properly and she said it should be no problem healing, and even if it was, she could re-suture it if necessary. she asked me to come back and see her in three months, so i have an appointment on july 15. midsummer. my goodness. midsummer.

i did ask about two additional things that had been whittling at me – about how much tissue was taken out, and about what happens to it afterwards. now, it occurs to me that doctors probably aren’t excited about the prospect of someone writing about them on the internet, probably in case some sort of slander occurs. so now i feel an odd sense of privacy about publishing my experiences with specific doctors, even though i find this sort of thing valuable when i do my own searching online. anyway. i have no problem saying anything positive about dr grissom. about my seven centimeters, she simply said that ‘just the right amount’ was taken out. when i mentioned the marbly, hard sort of ridges around my lateral incision, and asked if the tissue would grow back around it, she said that breast tissue is indeed very forgiving (does it have to do with being female?) and that things would grow back to normal in about a year or so.

now leanne, on the other hand, seems to be a bit less forgiving at present about the state of my breast. it seems it freaks her out no small bit about the hard ridges in my current left breast. i hadn’t realized that was startling to her. i suppose all things pass.

the other little thing i asked about was “where does the tissue go?” they keep the tissue. they keep it, was all she said. i’m sitting up on a shelf in a jar somewhere. maybe in a cold dark room. this deepens my cloning theory. let’s see what more i can get out of her in three months. and on her way out, she asked if i wanted to take the little knot with me and we laughed. it wouldn’t make for a good picture on the internet – though i did think about it, i admit. dr grissom has a sly sense of humor and a funny sort of ducking smile. i wonder if i was awake during the surgery and could remember whether she wielded the same sense of humor with a knife. i decided everyone was covered up in masks anyway, and for all i know, i had cucumbers on my eyes and was getting a massage and facial. i know it’s perhaps a stretch, but i don’t get surgery all that often, and maybe haven’t quite gotten over that versed halo.

surely to the entire viewing public’s dismay, i guess it’s best to suspend the weekly pictoral wound updates until i heal a little bit more from our latest romp. i’m supposed to apply neosporin for a few days, and should scab up all over again over the little knot.
how will i wear my easter bustier?

oh and for the record, since we’re talking about records, i also definitely recommend marty at hair play: