the best of the ballet

i’m so proud of my nieces! yesterday, they starred in the ballet — sam for the second time, and it was mckenna’s debut on the stage! they are so wonderful …

yet… as i looked at them on the stage — groups of 3-5 year olds dressed as mice, 8-10 year olds dressed as maidens, 4-6 year old princesses, the occasional adults dressed as cooks — looking so proud, so confident, regardless of size or girth or the occasional clumsy maneuver, which that made them all somehow the more perfect with every step — yet as i looked at my projected perfection or the simple pure joy of a four year old, i could not help wanting to *be* her somehow. to go back to four years old and replay some time on the stage, unselfconscious and proud. was i? does it have to do with the difference between being a ballerina and a catcher? i think not. though i was a lot less selfconscious with a concussion at the plate.

can i still go back and be four? maybe we just have to get more creative…