there is a playground in my mind and sometimes the swings make me sick but i enjoy the view and even the motion. i take a little ginger candy with me and wish that i am not surprised, but know i will be, and hope i try to be patient at the next downswing. the tundra looks utterly barren from afar, but the hike takes me through color festivals of wild irises, poppies, lupines, and of course, fields of poison oak. the wind blows into one ear and out the other, pushing me up and then down the steep coast. the ocean is turbulent, but it is far below. the plants are battered in the gusts. i see a quiet deer and i feel a peace though it runs away. i like to start high, then get higher, but i am also glad for an even space.
downturn
once again it was a bad day in the industry people love to vilify. layoffs downturn our days, in the biggest euphemism of them all. leanne comes home and is harrowed by what she has to do. something snaps, a protection violated, and we are no longer talking. the bracelet she gave me for valentine’s day came apart on the dancefloor at her birthday.
it has been suggested that i have been growing a bit paranoid. enough about that. it is april; the winds blew over the doggie from the diner last night. it was almost unbearably sad and funny at the very same time, the sight of the poor thing lying with its nose bashed in. we wonder about dogs and violence, of all kinds. we wonder what san francisco seems like from the outside.
last wednesday’s dream
last wednesday’s dream
last wednesday or probably early thursday morning, i awoke to hear a bird singing in the dark outside our window.
i had had a dream involving blake and ted’s old apartment on guerrero. thursday morning when i walked by that apartment in reality, there was only one door where there once were two but otherwise it was nothing like it was in my dream.
the building had been turned into an internet startup, and i helped myself on in to have a lookaround. i don’t remember the name of the company. probably ‘bigstep’ for all i know. they had put stairs inside where the kitchen was. there was red shag carpet. on the first floor, people were making espresso beverage (tshluuuuiiiiiirrrwwwwwrrrrhhhh) (sound of milk steaming). i just walked on up to the fourth floor (?) and people were making espresso beverages up there too (again with the tshluuuuiiiiiirrrwwwwwrrrrhhhh). then, at the front of the building on the fourth floor, there was a landing port and people were waiting for the shuttle to come to take them to this other planet, a recreational planet, where there were only 2% ratio of people to land (that was important). now, this planet, though certainly in outer space, still managed to be part of the chain of hawaiian islands – unfortunately i forget the name of the planet, though i saw it in my dream. started with an “o”, i think.
so, putting hesitation about flight aside, i got on a shuttle (which of course was really just a big elevator) and went to the planet. on the planet, i played soccer with people i didn’t know but it was very difficult because you were supposed to kick three balls at once, and that was awkward and i was not as proficient as i wanted to seem. then there was the gravity thing.
so then everyone came back and went to mitchell’s for ice cream – and i was glad nobody commented on my playing.
normally, i’m really noise-sensitive when i’m trying to sleep, but it was really lovely to hear that bird singing in the dark. i let it sing me back to sleep …
Moya Watson 