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the long sunset

last night, we woke up to a chilly subzero santa fe at open sky. the car was icy as i handled the suitcases and plethora of accumulated bags into the trunk, its cold carcass decorated overnight with snowflakes, the outlines of which still persist upon the metal till this night. julie and david’s handmade sage sticks, from sage we gathered ourselves while looking at the sun setting over petermal (?). jesse’s wines, pottery, and chocolates from his lovely home in san diego. tshirt and fleece from tenthousand waves…

we drove so long into the west from santa fe, that around five or six or then back to five again at havasu and then needles, the sun kept glowing ahead and slightly left off the forty, while las vegas glowed persistently over our right shoulders. we continued to barstow, and by then the long sunset had finally faded, leaving the smudge of LA glow in its place. i’d never seen such a long sunset. i was glad leanne pointed it out.

san francisco is so lovely to arrive to. the sun again gave us a show, this time earlier, early enough so that we didn’t have the rude three-hour-LA-like traffic, but at 4:30 or so awash of color and warmth first over the city, then over twin peaks, peeking through the eucalyptus: how verdant and wet the bay area is, after the tucson-mojave-and even high clean dry santa fe deserts. we’re back home; we could be home with jesse and julie and david; they all called to say they missed us after our alltoobrief time. we’re home for now.

the passing of nooka: office mammal

nooka made a sweet sunset for us this evening.

on her way to her appointment, she vomited in the backseat of my car, as if to say just how sick she’d become and just that it was the right decision. but still it feels so bad to be part of laying her on her side, inserting the needle, holding her paw till the doctor said ‘that’s it.’ she didn’t look any different at all. her eyes were open, and she lay there quietly, as sweetly as she had been doing all the time she was sick.

i feel i’ve been a part of something bad. but nooka would have sweetly told us it was the right thing to do.

from far across the sky

the moon is far across the sky now.  we lay in bed in the otivo conference room. she was purring softly and quietly on my lap. leanne had switched off the movie, leaned her ear down to nooka’s chest, stroked her, then turned away from us.

tears rolled for the first time down my face and into my hair as nooka’s paw held my finger. i arranged her in the blankets and bent down to say i wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet. she’s talking about giving it up with nooka, letting her go to rest.